a doozy

I tell ya what...songwriting is hard. You tell yourself the real pros, I mean the real geniuses, it just comes naturally to them. If its not coming to you it means you aren't a real musician. Is this true?? Should I spend the remainder of my career expressing someone else's feelings? Hmm... Or perhaps it just takes a bit of practice and finessing. Each songwriter has their own style. I guess its about finding my style? As I look back at my past attempts, I think I need to be more creative, think outside the box, and be more concise. Actually, I've always had the problem of running on and on. I'm not very good at summarizing, either. I just get caught up in the details...

Oo, I like that last sentence... How can I make that a lyric? Oh yah, I'm not a huge fan of rhyming. I feel like such a nob trying to rhyme. Like I'm writing a poem for my fifth grade valentines cards.

"You're so fine.

I wish you were mine.

You're what I like.

I wanna ride my bike."

Not all that compelling, huh? Ok well, fine, I wasn't really going for provocative, rather than proving a point. If I post a pet song of mine, one of my precious babies, you must promise not to laugh. Although, you may offer constructive criticism. I, on the other hand, may choose to take it, or offer it back to you to shove up your...

gratitude and the like

Thanksgiving came and went this year. Traditionally, when my family and I sit down to eat, before the prayer is said, we go around the table and say one thing that we are thankful for that year. Well, being somewhere else this year I didn't get the chance. Good thing I've got this nifty blog type deal to show all my gratitude!! Here goes for 2008...

I'm thankful for:

• Mom for being crazy amounts of supportive, especially when I told her I was moving across the globe. 
• Cast, crew, and officers of the Maasie for giving me one of the best experiences of my life, and I will never forget those awesome 6 months. (this is kind of an overflow from last year.)
• Skype. for keeping my relationship alive, haha.
• The Australian Government for letting me into their country.
  
• Mike. 

The list could really go on, but it would just get ridiculous. Even though I wasn't with the fam this year, I did get to chat with them all on skype and that was pretty awesome. I got to see the new baby, and of course all the other nieces and nephews. My family is crazy and I love them. Of course I miss all of my friends, and I can't wait for them all to get their acts together and come visit me....right?!

spaghetti bolognese

It makes me so envious that everyone always has such interesting things to say in their blogs. 

I don't really have much to say at all. I'm not necessarily upset about this, I just wish I had more things to say. There isn't a lot that I think "I have to write this down for all to read!!" And perhaps other people don't get that feeling either, perhaps they just have the time. I, at the moment, do not have the time. Here I go again, complaining about my job, haha. Its honestly not that bad. I get paid good money to hang out at the gym, haha. Its just not fun. I rephrase that...Its not fun when you're not making sales. Its tedious, boring, and just plain a waste of time. And not just my time, but my managers time. I honestly feel bad that she puts so much time into getting me pumped for the day and keeping my morale high when I couldn't care less. Maybe I'm selfish. Maybe I just hate my job and thats ok. Well, now I'm in a cross roads. Technically, I can only work there for another 2 months. So do I quit now because I hate it? Or do I stick it out for the last two months?? Today I thought to myself, " thats it, I'm turning in my two week notice tomorrow!!" But then I thought about how I'm moving soon and will need a bond. Also, my manager called me into her office and offered to micro manage me so that I can get better at my job. Oh gosh, I feel so awful, haha. What do I do!?!?!

On the other hand, Mike finally figured out how to turn our stove back on and I was able to cook a lovely home cooked dinner!!! We had spaghetti bolognese, (sp?) with salad, and garlic bread. We also had apple pie and ice cream for dessert. We even turned the TV off, put on some music and lit candles. It was so wonderful to finally be able to cook!! I didn't think I would miss cooking, but I really did. I beautiful ending to a not so beautiful day. Mike makes it better. Thats why I keep him around :o)

headache

So, Mike surprised me today by taking MY Wii back to the store and trading it for an XBox 360. LAME!! The only game we have for that is some basketball game. I don't even like basketball. While I was at church I was thinking "wow, I can't wait to get home and play my war game." Too bad that dream never came true. 

I went to the Tokyo Disney audition the other day. My first audition since I did "Millie." I was sooo nervous. I took the bus into the city and proceeded to get lost walking to the Sydney Dance Company building. I eventually found out it two store clerks and a security guard later. Of course, I'm the only black girl there, which I'm not complaining about, because it makes me stand out to the audition panel. Not that I needed that, because who is sitting behind the table?? Dan Solis!! I have sang for this man upwards of 6 times or more. He has yet to actually offer me a job, haha. But, none the less, I sang my little heart out for him. I sounded better than I thought I would, considering my lack of proper practice. I am a slight perfectionist, so I felt my performance left something to be desired. My voice was a bit sluggish and rough thru transitions. There were really only 53 people at the audition. A small turnout. It was awesome to see Dan, though. He was really surprised to see me. I'm sure he didn't expect to see someone he knows half way around the globe. Well, it seemed like he and the others enjoyed my audition, but then told me to come and see him in 6 months when they're back in Sydney. What does that even mean?? Did I not sing well?? Am I not what they are looking for?? Do I smell funny?? Hmm, and here I am thinking it went well. But, I guess I'll just wait and see what happens. And in the meantime, keep singing. I spent the rest of the day walking around the cd taking pictures and chillaxin. Then on the bus ride home I left Mike's camera on the bus. I never got it back. I hate that!! All those pictures gone...(of course, Mike didn't even care I left is camera, haha)

I had my first Aussie meat pie! It was awesome, and very different. Its a small pastry pie with meat in some kind of sauce and mashed potatoes and bacon on top. Its really good with tomato sauce (ketchup). I'm kind of used to calling it "tomato sauce" now, cause if I say "ketchup" they make fun of me, or don't know what I'm talking about. I also had a sausage roll, but that definitely wasn't as good as the pie, so I fed it to the seagull, haha. He and his friends like it. It was surely one of those "Mine?!" from Finding Nemo moments. Funny seagulls. 

Oh yeah, I took my braids out. So I'm back to my natural hair. My hair has grown quite a bit. its to the base of my neck. It hasn't been this long since high school. I was afraid Mike wouldn't like my short hair, but he is surprisingly its biggest fan!! He loves it. Too bad I hate him for getting rid of my Wii...

Labor Day?!

What exactly is Labor Day??! I should google it. I probably will when I'm done with this. Anyway, Labor Day was this past Monday. Even here in Aus they "celebrate" this most vaguest of holidays. Labor Day basically means no school, and short trade hours. I was given the glorious gift of working on this blessed day. It consisted of a lot of standing around, and staring at the walls of my office. In my extreme boredom I came up with this...

If I unfocus my eyes when I stare at the dark blue carpet I can see the illusion of ripples and waves. It gives me a vision of the deep vast ocean. An image I sorely miss. I'm instantly transported to a memory. Soft rocking, wind rushing, foaming waters. The view!! My, isn't it gorgeous?! The sky is a painters mixing board of colors. Yellow giving way to orange, melting into tangerine, spilling onto a spread of blue velvet. All reflected in the cool steely eyes of Mother Earth. Have you ever beheld such a sight?! A photograph tightly gripped in the hands of my memory.

Yah, so thats what happens when you are supposed to be doing work, but lack the motivation, haha. I was so happy to go home at 5pm as opposed to the usual time of 7:30p. You learn to appreciate small things like this. When I got home Mike informed me that he bought me a present. I love presents!! Mike bought us a Wii !! I know, very exciting!! He hasn't stopped playing it for the past 4 days. He buys a game, finishes it, then trades it in for a new game. I think his favorite is the PGA Golf with Tiger Woods. I haven't really played it all that much. I waiting to buy Guitar Hero. Once that gets here you probably won't be able to get me off the thing. 

7 days until the Disney audition!! I'm freaking out.

Umm...::sigh::

Everyone who knows me well knows that I have a very VERY bad habit of starting sentences and then...

Exactly!! I make a noise, start a word, or giggle, and then I never quite give follow thru. The point is everyone who knows me well knows I do this. Apparently Mike JUST figured out I do this (?!?!??), and its driving him up the wall!! I could have sworn I have been doing this since birth. I don't know where he's been, cause this is not a new development. He even threatened that if I don't stop, he doesn't know if he could spend the next 60 years with me doing that. I think its hilarious. I can be a very extroverted (?right word?) person when I'm comfortable, meaning I talk out loud even if I'm not talking to anyone imparticular. You know who else hates that I do this?? Ashley. She HATES it, and she gets sooo impatient when I do it, haha. Can't wait til she reads this, cause she's going to howl with delight that someone else shares in her annoyance. 

Hmm...I just...........hm, nevermind.

:o)

Sydney

So, I've been here in Sydney for a little over 2 months, but it feels more like 6 to me. I'm not quite sure why. Anyway, I am thoroughly enjoying my time here. When I first got here it was the middle of winter. Don't be fooled by "winter," its more like a California type winter where it rains a fair bit, but mainly a lot of crisp overcast days. I love winter so I wasn't complaining. Hats, cozy coats and sweaters...love it. Well, now the weather is definitely heating up, and I'm so excited to experience my first northern beaches summer!! Everyone is looking forward to it. I'm really only 3 blocks from the beach, about a 10-15 minute walk. I used to be 5 minutes but we moved. Dee Why is the suburb I live in on the northern beaches of Sydney. There are lots of interestingly named cities around here. For instance, Wollongong, Curl Curl, Manly, Warringah, Balgowlah...these are just some of the surrounding cities. When I first got here I obviously didn't have a job and I did pretty much nothing all day but walk aimlessly about the apartment and city. Very boring. But now, lucky me, I have a full-time job at the Fitness First. Fitness First is the 24 Hour Fitness of Australia. I'm a membership consultant. You would think it would be a pretty easy job. No. Its pretty much the hardest job I've ever had, but its very rewarding when you sit in front of those people and you give them the opportunity to live to their full potential. (That was so salesman like and boring of me haha) I have to admit I've become quite boring. I work all day, quite literally 12 hour days, and I don't go out much. But I do love being here in spite of my quiet living. Mike and I are happy together. Though I do very much miss home and all the people there that I love.